Cover Letter for Final Essay

December 19, 2011

Professor Sacha Frey

Dear. Professor Frey:

I have attached my final essay and its drafts and feedbacks here. My claim is “mapping the internal structure of L subway and 14A and 14D buses with our bodily movement enables us to be more aware of where our body is in relation to the place and value of our current space.” On the first draft I focused on the effects of mapping the subway and the buses, and claimed that they limit our senses and movement in the process of expansion. However, this is the final conclusion I am making about my map, and I focused on the question of “how” and “why” on the final essay. My focus of the map is on our body’s movement as a crowd, attention to senses, and the city population’s movement in public transportation. The general focus is on the Walkers’ patterns of movement and rules they create while riding on the two transportations. My first draft did not have a consistent theme and it did not have a focus because it was unclear how I made connections with different social classes and the rules of transportation. I explained further on the quotes and the ideas I referenced, such as Perec’s emphasis on being aware of where we are and De Certeau’s notion of walkers. I clearly stated what my map is mapping and why it is necessary to observe our bodily movement. I tried to make clear visualization on my statements. I am happiest with the development of my introduction. I think the most challenging part was condensing my ideas into four pages with unified central structure because I had many ideas I wanted to include. I followed your advice you wrote on my author’s note, about how to make the essay consistent, and creating the draft of map before revising the essay. They helped me focus my ideas and make a developed claim.  I omitted my statements about different social classes and the function of public transportation as the connectors to other regions to expand more on the spatial movements within the transportations. If I had more time, I would include Corner’s idea of drift, and extend the definition to my essay. I would have discussed this further with you, about how much further I can extend the term to put it to my own use. I would also make my claim stronger.